One thing that this sentimental girl fully understands is that often times our holidays are less than ideal. Sometimes they are downright awful. Everyone hates to see a loved one struggle, especially during a season that is all about joy. Life is crazy. We lose loved ones, we catch a flu, homes go up in flames, pets get hit by cars...yeah, life can be downright thoughtless when it comes to honoring our holidays, even national ones. I notice that people are pretty good about pulling through the truly rough times with a great deal of intestinal fortitude. I think the bigger challenge can be the times when everything looks good on the outside but actually things are not so good.
If you are at all like I am, you tell yourself to be grateful. "Practice gratitude" I tell myself and I count the list of blessings (there are many) over and over again wondering how many repetitions it will take until my brain starts producing gamma waves like those of Tibetan Monks.
Well, they probably don't meditate while driving in Atlanta traffic because no amount of gamma waves or joy will help these people learn how to drive. I'm just saying...
I digress. The point I'm trying to make is this. I believe that Maslow had it right. Every single person on this planet needs it all. We need it all. The whole package. That's right. Should we count our blessings? Absolutely! Humility, gratitude, hard work, service and love. Definitely dig right in. At the end of the day many people feel less than grateful because there are great big holes in their hierarchy of needs. Frankly, the ideal balance that Maslow suggests is pretty difficult to achieve, much less maintain, in a universe like ours that is a constant state of uncaring change.
Oh that universe. So beautiful. So mathematically precise. Our universe is completely amazing and completely willing and able to knock you on your ass without a second thought.
Maslow had it right but the way the world is leaves many of us wanting more. It's true. More love, more money, more stability....I think you get the gist. Those feelings of discontent often lead to feeling even worse because, "Hey, I'm SO lucky! I have so much and family who loves me. I have my health. Who am I to complain because I don't have (fill in the blank-you know what you are missing)? I am such an ass!"
That, my friends, is a real joy sucker. Don't fool yourselves. If you are suffering from the holiday blues, I guarantee it's because something is missing from your life. Human nature dictates that when all is right in our world, we fill up with joy, it is almost always as unexpected as a house fire. It just happens. Hey, I never expected my friend Teresa to make me laugh so hard at lunch in 5th grade that milk would come out of my nose but she did. In that moment, I felt total joy and gratitude. When healthy babies are born we naturally look up to the sky and thank god. I bet even atheists forget for just a second and give thanks by accident. I don't say this because I am religious. I say this because I believe we carry these gifts inside of us everyday. I think we are emotionally rich and complex creatures. Most of us will never be able to commit to a regimen of meditation that physically changes our brain waves. We are stuck here, at Target with a handful coupons or in traffic or in my case, cleaning cat shit off the stairs again.
Do I feel grateful? Absolutely. Do I feel melancholy or blue? Sometimes, so bad it hurts. Yes, I wish I was perfect. I wish I could spontaneously emit joy or love in the same way I wish I had beautiful thighs, a spotless house and millions of dollars that I could share with the less than fortunate. Oh, how I long for perfection! I know I will never find it. I also know that many of the surprises that life throws at you are good ones. Wonderful surprises. Guess what? Needs do get met. Mine, yours and all those shitty drivers. All you have to do is just hang on. This is one wild ride, baby. No one is getting out alive, you know. Until that day comes for you, hang in there. Forgive yourself for your imperfection. Slog through if you have to in order to find your happy place. If your needs aren't getting met, start changing that. It will be a process. Epiphany's rarely happen so embrace the process. Share the love you do have in your life, even if it's only with a cat. Love, love, love yourself because this is just one big, crazy ride that we are all on together and experiencing alone. It's like Willy Wonka on crack. Not easy in the slightest.
If you are happy and joyful and everything is perfect don't you feel guilty either! Love and happiness beget more love and happiness. It's all so very contagious.
What I am trying to say is this. Your life is a gift and no matter how red, green or blue you may feel this Christmas, if you made this far then you deserve a little holiday cheer. Whatever it is that warms the cockles of your heart, embrace it. You deserve every good thing and then some.
Merry Christmas, my little chickadees.
Your ever lovin,'
Miss Pierce