As 2011 winds down and I find myself peeking under the covers at yet another new year, I am simultaneously thrilled at the prospect of a fresh start and tempted by the lure of New Years' Resolutions.
New Years' Resolutions. They are typically the same for everyone I know. Lose weight. Stop smoking. Work out. Get fit. Become wildly successful. Write the book that will make me famous. Vindicate myself. Resolutions that are largely unimaginative and almost always, forgive me for saying it, shallow or a bit egocentric. Worst of all, they are full of self loathing and no fun. Not even one teeny, tiny bit of fun.
I think it's time to break out of the mold! Don't spend another minute of your life resolving to do or not do something thinking that this self-discipline will make you into the better person you always knew you could be. Hogwash! That's what I say! Hogwash!
I think you are perfect.
I challenge you to look in the mirror and count off 20 things that you adore about yourself right this minute! When you are done with that bit of self adulation start asking yourself, "Self, when is the last time I felt truly alive?" If the answer to that question requires sifting through memories for more than 2 seconds or immediately takes your wicked little mind to the last time you were in the arms of your lover....maybe you need a little jolt. A reminder that you are awesome "as is" and that as a matter of fact, you have many interests outside of the wonderful people in your life.
Think about your childhood heros. Why did these characters capture your admiration? Maybe they were brave, or wild, or free. When I was young I found myself yearning to be like the brave women in the historical novels my school had in their library. Harriet Tubman, Florence Nightingale, Joan of Arc, Susan B. Anthony. They all faced what seemed like insurmountable odds but they did so with the courage of conviction. They did so with passion. They walked alone, often because in those days a girl just couldn't have a passion for anything beyond her marriage and children (except for Elizabeth Cady Stanton who did it all). I wish I could say that I was drawn to the stories of these brave women because it was the 1970's and I was part of women's movement at age 10 but that would be a lie. I was drawn to them because in my case, they were grown women and since I was a little girl, I knew that womanhood was going to be a part of my future. My childhood self was drawn to these images of womanhood in addition to the amazing women I knew in real life. (Thanks mom!) At the end of the day these woman all seemed to me to be alone, but they still kept going. They used everything they had to give back, to help others and they carried the burden of solitude underneath an outward appearance of strength. This isn't to say they weren't strong, they were! As romantic as the idea seemed to me when I was a girl, sacrificing personal happiness for the greater good now seems like overkill. At lease in most cases. Everyone needs love. Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on or a great, big hug. Everyone needs to feel special.
What the hell does any of this have to do with New Years and Resolutions, you ask?
It has everything to do with it because the things that we value most in ourselves and other people have absolutely nothing to do what we look like. I have received and given many bear hugs even though I weigh too much and often smell like cigarette smoke, or worse. In other words, I want you to resolve to be more free! Resolve to spend more time telling jokes or bungee jumping or studying beetles. Whatever it is, resolve to strengthen those qualities in yourself that actually *do* make you special and if you lose weight or stop smoking along the way, great. Don't waste another precious moment resolving to fix a perfectly healthy body that isn't broken. I have news for you, it's going to give out on you whether you achieve your physical ideal or not! I would *love* to have a 32 inch waist but I am quite certain that whatever my last thought is, it won't be that I shouldn't have eaten so much I couldn't fit into my skinny jeans.
You are noble. You are creative. You are so, so, so funny. Take my word for it.
Be a little braver. Get your nerdy book of magic tricks from the back of the closet. Peek under the covers and when you catch a glimpse of that New Year, resolve to invite wonder and amazement back into your life. You can share it with your kids (or your lover) later. <3
Your ever lovin',
Miss Pierce